This article was originally posted on the Just Eat Takeaway tech blog.

Introduction

Picture this: you’re coding along on a task and suddenly you’re stuck. You go through all the strategies and tools you can think of to find a solution, but can’t seem to figure out the issue. You might feel frustrated, perhaps starting to look for distractions to procrastinate on. You’ve reached a crossroads. Should you continue to trudge on or ask for help? You worry that the solution may be straightforward and that you might look foolish asking for help.

Another scenario: you’re in a tough planning session with your team where you’re trying to align the company’s goals with your team’s capacity. These discussions require foresight and critical thinking. Many members on your team are more experienced than you and are not shy to bring up challenging topics. You’re worried that you don’t measure up to your peers. Slowly, you find yourself fading into the background as you wonder whether you have anything valuable to say at all.

We programmers want to feel respected for our ability to solve problems and think of innovative solutions. We don’t want to be perceived as anything less than capable. As a result, we may avoid asking questions or sharing our opinions as long as possible. We worry that crossing this line will expose us as a fraud — a clear indicator of imposter syndrome.

I want to focus on this perspective — that of the developer that feels so self-conscious that they can’t ask for help for fear of some level of embarrassment. This will likely affect your level of participation in discussions within your team. What I want to point out is that falling into the habit of retreating inward rather than contributing will not only inhibit your progress on a task or initiative, but it will also hurt your career in the long run.

The first step to overcoming a problem is being aware that the problem exists. In this article, we will examine these reticent behaviors and how we can overcome them.

Some background

If you’ve read my previous articles, you’ll know that I’ve been part of a big team at Just Eat Takeaway that has been rebuilding the main consumer facing web application. We’ve been working on it for 2 years now and we just went live in the Netherlands, the 11th country we’ve rolled out in. It’s been a blast being a part of this project and I’ve learned and observed many things along the way.

One of these observations is the evolution of our technical discussions and how my peers and I have grown and became more vocal in the process. While I may have held back in the beginning as I was getting accustomed to working with my new colleagues, now I’m unabashed at getting involved in most discussions.

My personal development process was not always smooth, mind you. I’ve struggled with confidence issues and imposter syndrome, and I too had to look deep into my psyche to figure out how I can ultimately improve and overcome in areas where I lack.

So now I’m sharing my experience regarding those traits which I’ve noticed in myself and others as I learned what it means to be a good communicator and technical professional in a big team.

Listen critically. Be inquisitive.

Many people, including myself, have a proclivity towards shyness. I can recall being in some technical discussions where, since I was not a domain expert in the matter at hand, I found my thoughts floating away from the conversation and towards what I would have for lunch or literally anything else. You could call this boredom or lack of focus, but I think these traits are symptoms of something else, rather than it actually being a boring meeting.

A possible cause for some developers is a fear of being vulnerable, of putting yourself out there, of exposing yourself as an imposter. We worry that most of the people in the meeting will roll their eyes at our questions, that they will think “Wow, are they really asking something that basic?”

The truth is that these are our irrational thoughts getting a hold of our better judgement. The only way we can learn more about the topic at hand is by listening critically to what is being discussed, asking strategic questions to gain further insight, addressing any misconceptions, and clearing up the lack of knowledge.

If you are actively engaged in the topic, you’ll feel more confident about asking questions or making suggestions. If you are wondering about something, it is likely others are too. So don’t be afraid to ask your questions. Many times, a question you ask will prompt the whole team to rightfully reexamine an aspect of the issue at hand. You know you asked a great question when someone says “Wow, I didn’t even consider that!”

Two caveats come to mind here. First, don’t make up for lack of listening by asking more questions. If a fact was already mentioned, it’s on you if you didn’t hear it and ask the exact question later. That’s why this section’s title includes “listen critically”. Secondly, don’t ask questions simply to have your voice heard. You should be conscientious about contributing and speaking up regularly, but do so because you have meaningful things to say, rather than to assert your presence. Everyone can have something meaningful to say if they are part of the conversation.

Share your thoughts

Not only should you be unafraid to ask questions, but you should also be open to sharing your thoughts, opinions, and insights.

In many instances, your ears will perk up as you hear someone say “I think this is this way because of X, but I’m not sure.” You realize that you came across this information while working on a previous task. A more fearful person might assume that the other person has already considered this information and that they have way more knowledge than you do and are well aware of what you are thinking. But this is often not true and you shouldn’t assume someone else has this knowledge. Oftentimes, this information will be valuable input to the discussion.

Examples of how you can add great value to conversations are:

• Sensing that one or more team members might be new and not have been properly introduced to the topic. You should pause the discussion to give them a one minute synopsis if it’s reasonable to do so.
• You read or heard a piece of news that might be relevant to the discussion. The operative word here is might, as sometimes that piece of information is not relevant. And there’s no harm in making sure if this news is pertinent or not. Better to be sure than to hold back potentially useful information.

Don’t worry about looking like an amateur

Fear of appearing foolish or out of the loop is often a byproduct of overthinking. It is crucial that developers overcome this anxiety as a technical professional. So many individuals are held back because they worry about what others will think of them. So they fail to become engaged in important topics and they let others take over. They end up missing out on opportunities that will help them grow professionally.

Being involved and unafraid to ask questions can inspire other team members to also become more engaged. The best way to inspire others is to lead by example. Perhaps you can recognize people in your team that actively do this, whereas others might still be learning.

Part of this mindset involves encouraging others to do the same. This helps create a safe space for your team to discuss and ask questions. Psychological safety is vital to having healthy and balanced team dynamics.

Internalizing these behaviors will make you a more experienced and agile professional. Your peers will notice your contributions and compliment you on them. You’ll be recognized for your critical thinking and shrewd observations. When a project comes around that needs a shrewd and tactful technical lead, your name will be more likely to be considered.

Getting in the habit of not worrying about looking naive will pay dividends outside of work and development. It will help you be a better family member and friend. It will help you think outside the box and look at facts from different angles. It will help you be a better learner and a better teacher. And it will make you happier.

Conclusion

In order to help your team collectively wrap your heads around a topic, it’s important to ask questions and share opinions. Doing so builds confidence, critical thinking and critical listening skills, and makes you a better, more involved team member.

But overcoming social anxiety and stage fright are not trivial endeavors. Surmounting them requires introspection, mental fortitude, and courage. It requires patience with yourself and others.

My hope is that I will have inspired some of you to be bolder in your day to day discussions. Don’t always settle for your comfort zone, be involved and engaged in the foreground of the current topics in your team. Inspire your peers to step up and be involved through leading by example.

Got feedback? Suggestions? Just want to say hi? Reach out to me on LinkedIn or Twitter!

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